The last week....

(Over a span of Fri-Sun, was this blog created)

It’s Friday night around 11 p.m. and I’m sitting on my top bunk listening to our neighbors blasting horrible music. This is a Marshallese remake of the song “Staying alive”, fortunately one of the better I’ve heard. When I say “blasting their music” it’s not the same as in America, where it’s turned up pretty loud. This is you get and amp and then you find another speaker, you point them in all directions towards your neighbors houses, and then you turn it up as loud as it can go….. Since I’ve been in Ebeye, the most overplayed songs I have heard are, “Get on the floor” by J.Lo. and “Born in the USA”. Random pickings, I know. While walking to school the stores play American remake songs and I’m always tempted to dance a little(or a lot) while walking past. My curiosity on how they would react to an American doing that, makes me want to do it even more. I have a little over a week left, maybe I’ll give it a try.

Today was the second and third grade picnic. Emma(3^rd grade teacher) and I planned it. We are eachothers assistants as well, so it worked out really well.  We sent notes home with our kids telling them what to bring, but this morning we got many calls from confused parents asking what they should bring. It all worked out great though. It turned out being way more than just second and third grade. 4^th ,5^th and 6^th, grade kids all came too. Which is just how things like this works here in Ebeye. “hi Miss. Em!” “Hey, you’re not in second grade…or third.” *Big sneaky smile..Well, There’s 15,000 of us here in a mile long island, half a mile wide, there’s nothing to do but do what everyone else is doing. I got to interact with the parents a lot, and at first I was kind of nervous, because a lot of them do not speak English, and I just didn’t know how I should initiate conversation or how to make them feel comfortable. After eating (there was a lot of food, so many sandwiches!) all the kids went swimming. Blake and Karissa both stopped by at different times and Karissa left early to head to NTA but Blake stayed and helped play with all 80 of the kids. As soon as we got in the water, they attacked us. Climbing all over, pulling our hair, trying to sit on our heads…the water was just a trap. At one point I was sitting on the sand and a bunch of them came and just dragged me in, on top of coral, rocks everything, they were just so excited. I got a lot of pictures of all of this happening. After swimming we played games…well attempted too. They don’t listen very well, and could not follow directions for steal the bacon and would all run to grab it, then they’d just all find someone and fight them and body slam them on the ground. There was a lot of collisions. Which scared me a lot, but the parents seemed fine with it, so I was like alright, cool, and I enjoyed the game a lot more. I taught them all a hula hoop game that I learned at GLAA and of course they cheated and didn’t follow any of the directions, and the boys stole it and ran away. So, we ended up just going in the water again, for hours. It was a really nice day.

My time here is coming to an end, I have about one week left. I leave May 21, which is May 20 in America. I’m not going to lie, this semester hasn’t been a walk in the park, but it’s been everything that He knew I needed, not that I wanted. There’s a lot more to a student missionary year than meets the eye, a lot more than what you can see in FB pictures, no matter where you go, there’s going to be trials, but I don’t want to go off on all the hardships, I will keep those in the back of my mind, because there’s so many positive things I would rather have people take from it, myself included. But sometimes you need to be aware of the hardships to fully appreciate your blessings. Yeah, just like any other foreign country we get mocked, stared at, rocks thrown at us by the kids sometimes, sworn at, every single day these things occur. We stand out like a sore thumb. The other day Karissa and I were walking to a little island store and a little boy on the street ran up to me and slapped my butt and tried to lift up my skirt (just to be funny), in front of everyone, and the men around him (in their 20’s) thought it was so funny, and were in roaring in laughter. It was humiliating, and made me very angry. What makes that okay? just because I’m “rubelle”. If I could speak Marshallese I would’ve went up to that boy grabbed him by his ear and taken him to his mama. But instead, it’s the same old thing. They get away with it….Another quick story which happens many many times a day, I was walking and a little boy called me “be be” (like the gun) and I’ve learned that that is not a good word, it is a reproductive part on a woman. I’m not one to just let a lesson go unlearned, that boy needs to be disciplined. I turned around  and said in Marshallese, “Don’t say that, not good, I understand what you’re saying. Bad.” At first he was caught really off guard and was embarrassed, then as I kept walking, he started yelling it. What am I going to do, turn and run at him and chase him down? You have to learn to ignore it. Ignore any cold stares, and politely say hello. I really appreciate it when someone walks past and smiles and says “Yokwe”. Those are just a few examples of how you have to look on the bright side of things. If I focused on those frequent events instead of my students whom I love, instead of my purpose here, it would be so depressing and frustrating.  Yes, I see them. I’m not oblivious to it all, my heads not up in the clouds, naïve and smiling. My head is down here, but I try my best to do what I came here to do. 

My imperfections sometimes really get me down. I should have done this…etc…, but God’s grace is shown to me more abundantly than it ever was.Over this past semester I have questioned. Who is God? Why do I believe what I believe? Who am I? Who do I want to be? I fall short on just about everything..But, I am coming out of this experience more sure of who I am than I was before coming, and more sure of who I want to be. 

I know it is going to be very hard to leave my students. “Miss Em, please don’t go…love you…please. We miss you so much.” Then they all dog pile on my arms and legs and I drag them around while walking. I look at them and see the growth they’ve made this year. I saw a picture on my computer that I took with them when I first got here, and I couldn’t help but feel the irony, of how unconnected I was from them then, in comparison to now…..Saying goodbye to Barnabas, junior, and riki is going to be especially hard for me. They’ve been my musketeers from day 1. I’m going to do my best this week to show my entire class love more than ever before and encourage them about the future, and not focus on me leaving, because this is only going to be a temporary separation until heaven. Man, I just love them all. Bed, Charlie, Sham, Risa, Rema, Wiwi, JJ, Ronald, Mailani……all 26 of them. I know God strategically brought each one of them into my life. I am just overcome with sadness when I think about how I won’t see them when they get older. I want to know what sort of men they turn out to be, and what fancy ladies they will be. I know I need to trust them in the hands of the Lord. I will place them there, it’s just hard to let go of what made my missionary experience so wonderful and so challenging…Those little rascals. Still as crazy and wild as ever in class. My first two weeks teaching them, I could not see how I was going to make it to the end of the year. It was so hard to see the end. But, I’m here.

I am excited to go home though. I enjoy the thought of not having bugs crawl all over me while I’m sleeping. Lice and ants will be very few on my bed sheets at home, hopefully non existent, but who knows what’s going to trail back with me (just kidding mom ;) ). The other day I woke up to something crawling around in a plastic bag on my floor. I thought it was just a mouse so I was just planning to grab it’s tail and toss it in the toilet, but it was not. It was a giant cockroach running in circles creating quite the raucous. He was probably upset since I killed his whole family that week. One of them was on my ceiling and I sprayed it and it fell on my neck and crawled down my arm onto the floor. I wanted to rip my skin off, it’s such a gross feeling. They’re super fast, crackily and have tons of legs. Putting even a glass of water down in our apt is a bad idea. Ants come speedily and are doing baptisms in it before I even get a chance to drink it. I am anxious to see my family and friends. I thought I’d be more excited about reliable internet, but it’s not important to me like it was. It will be convenient though. Fruit, exercise, clean water…it all sounds so nice. It feels like a dream. I cannot, literally cannot convince myself that I am leaving in one week.  It’s just so unreal. I was thrown into this life here, every single day, with the same people, in a small unsanitary island, where I have learned so much, and now it’s going to be gone….everything, all the stray roosters, pigs running around, dog shootings, little kids with no clothes running around, where scabies is the norm, waiting for a boat to bring us food, houses whose roofs are held down with rocks,seeing basketball being played 24/7, friendly little kids, moo moo dresses(slaughtered the spelling), breastfeeding in public, loud upbeat music, always having a kid with me (Sonora is here right now…3^rd grader). I’m actually going to have to listen in conversations now. Here I assume that no one is talking to me because it’s all in Marshallese, but no one will be doing that at home, and that could very well be speaking to me….weird. So unreal. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that it’s here. The sm’s, we’ve become like a family, whether we wanted to or not. We are, and we all have our part. We know we know each other better than most people know us, it’s something special. Ebeye is something special to all of us, God brought us together here.

This evening I am going to my first goodbye event with my island mama. A boy named Jeo’s mama. Oh yeah, it’s “mama and baba” here. I love to joke with him, “Where’s mama?” “Ahhh, missah, she’s mine…*big smile.” “are you saying that she’s not mine?” “Missah…I’m her fb friend.” Haha. 

Well, I have overwhelmed myself with how much I have written today. I will probably do one more blog post before I leave. I hope that you got a blessing out of this post, and that you look for yourself who God is in your life, and who you are and who you want to be. Also, Ebeye is looking for teachers next year. If you are interested in being a missionary, pray about Ebeye. Before I left to come here my sister Sara gave me a quote, “There is nothing more precious in the sight of God than his ministers who go forth into the waste places of the earth to sow the seeds of truth, looking forward to the harvest”-Acts of the Apostles pg 369-370. She also added a fun pun, “Not that Ebeye is a dump or a waste place or anything.” It’s funny because Ebeye is known for just that, but it’s so beautiful. Let God speak to your heart today, and may He give you the strength that you can’t find on your own.

Seeing you soon. J

Mouse attacks, evangelistic series, "Ordinary people extraordinary faith"

As I laid down to type this blog post, a tick crawled across my neck, I quickly grabbed it before it latched on, so we’re all good. Ticks, lice, fleas, mice, cockroaches, dogs and one scorpion,bacteria….they’re invading!

Last week Karissa was sick for quite a few days. She went to the hospital and got tested and found out that it was a parasite, she had an amoeba. We’re not sure from what exactly, but when you’re here, it can honestly be from anywhere, I’ve seen cleaner places.

Last blog I mentioned about our mice problem. It has gone out of control. We spend a lot of time now setting the traps and cleaning up the mess afterwards. For some reason, the mice are only in Karissa, Lonnie and my apartment, not the boys. We started setting  the traps my parents set me on Friday. These traps are so scary, haha. Lonnie and I set them up on Friday, and were just laughing and crying at the same time, trying to avoid getting snapped by the metal plate. I am able to get it on the first time now…most of the times..Since Friday we have caught 7 mice and that was on Sunday morning when we counted. The first mouse we caught I was so excited. I was just sitting alone in the apt. sitting across from it holding a cup in my hand, just in case I needed protection (idk) and was grinning super wide. And out it came, instantly I felt really bad and debated scaring it away so it wouldn’t go to it, then I remembered..there’s about 30 of them and they need to go. So the mouse edged closer, smelled the peanut butter, went to retrieve it, and snap! Got it. It’s poor head. I however, was still very excited about my accomplishment. I don’t mind touching them so I took it out of the trap and stuck it in a plastic easter egg (naturally) to show the others. Barnabas, and Junior came to the apt. to get “Miss. Em” and we walked together to school, while I carried the egg in a plastic bag.  Barnabas put on a pouty face and stretched out his hand, “Miss. Em, give me.” “No, haha, Barnanbas, you don’t want this.” “Missah, share….” “You really want me to share?” “Missah….” I tried to stifle my laughter at the fact he was begging for a dead rat. So, I I told him what was in the bag. He was so grossed out. Him, who picks his nose, eatis it, licks dogs, plays in sewer water...  I swung it towards him a little bit to test him. He was very opposed to being near it.. Haha. I through away the egg, don’t worry, and I washed my hands.

 Since there's an abundance of mice, they’re not as fun anymore now, they are more scary. Karissa is very frightened by them. Lastnight we caught one in our room and the trap only got it’s back legs and it was trying to pull itself out, so it was all stretched and mangled, and Karissa sprayed it with “Raid” so it was wet. It must have collected a huge hairball underneath the desk while it was wet, so it was stretched, wet,mangled, fighting and covered in hair. All night it was using its front two legs to pull itself and the trap around our room... In the morning I picked up the trap to throw it away and it was wrestling and squrming and angrily trying to break itself free. Karissa is now sleeping in Lonnie’s room on the top bunk. I am glad that she feels safe somewhere. Though mice are taking over our home, I will try not to let them take over my blog posts, so off to a new subject.

Last week I spoke for the evangelistic series, for about 50 mintues. I spoke about the Sabbath. All last week I was dreading it. I was so nervous. I love people, I like going upfront, but I don’t want the spotlight. I prayed a lot and God pulled me through. He gave me many childhood stories and connections and hyperboles. I felt very blessed that God could use me, me, to help reach those highschoolers. All and any praise and honor goes to Him, my creator. This week is week of prayer. We were supposed to have a guest speaker, but he’s not coming anymore. I’m not sure why exactly, but I would guess he has a good reason. So, the sm’s all planned out a week for them. To make it special, because we remembered how important Week of Prayer was for us in our academy days. So our theme is “Ordinary people, extraordinary faith.” Our motto is, “God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”  We’re talking about our favorite Bible characters and how God did extraordinary things through them, though they were just ordinary people. I am not speaking, but am in charge of music. I’m playing guitar and singing for the song services and a special music. I’m really excited about this week, and have very high hopes that God will use us in great ways to impress their hearts, and ours.

Yesterday was Sababth. Junior and Barnabas showed up at church and surprised me. Barnabas trailed off and left, but Junior stayed with me the whole time just beaming. Afterwards he came to the principles house, him and his sister and they ate potlatch there with the rest of us, and the staff. Afterwards I went with them on the other side of the island to their home. Walking there with a crowd of kids, and me being the only adult made me feel a little strange to the onlookers, like I had no other friends but children, especially being American, then I realized, this is what I’m here to do. I love them and they accept me, it doesn’t matter if they may feel that way or not, so I kept walking. Oh, scary part. So we were walking and I walked past 2 teenage boys who happened to be drinking while standing out in public on the sidewalk. They made eye contact and said “hi” so I said it back. One of them did not break eye contact with me and was a little crazed in the eyes. “What’s your name?” I continued walking with the kids. “Hey, I’m talking to you! Hey.” He picked up his pace and believe it or not he power walked after me. The kids were really scared and went ahead of me. “missah, he’s coming…missah..please.” “It’s okay we have Lucy (the dog). We’ll be okay.” He continued rambling on and eventually after many many blocks, gave up and turned around. His intensity was a little frightening, but I believe the Lord has His eye on me, and Lucy is a great protector. Eventually we got to Juniors home. People were so incredibly shocked to see “Rubelle” go inside a islanders home, like it was a natural things. We hung out for a few hours in their backyard and crowds just formed around the wire gate looking at me. All I was doing was sitting on a table and talking and playing with their dog. That kind of stuff makes me want to apologize to everyone around me, the staring, the comments. Though it’s not my fault, or me personally doing it. I feel embarrassed that they have to hear some of the things they say to us….After walking there I vowed to not walk with the kids by myself again. Either walk alone, or with another sm…but I hated to have the kids see that. That's not an every day occurence, it is rare to see them drinking so publicly and in the middle of the day.

Back home I have it so good. I have warm water, I don’t have to worry about bacterial viruses, parasites, fleas, lice, ticks. I don’t think twice about my safety. I have room to run and exercise…I can play soccer… I have parents that work, and love me just as much as my 2 other sisters….if not more…haha just joking. But really, I have it so great. I’m clean at home and have privacy, everything doesn’t smell bad, my internet is reliable… I can walk at home without being mauled by giant dogs covered in ginormous ticks. If I decide to sit on the couch mice don’t randomly just run across my chest…..I am so blessed. So fortunate. But you know. Though I don’t have any of those privileges here. I still love it. I love it because I love my purpose, I love the kids, and I love serving the God I love. Also, when am I ever going to connect with children who are not my own, as much as I have with my little students here? I will miss them very much.

This morning during staff worship I read to everyone a little devotionally thought about God’s comfort, and it dawned on me. Needing comfort doesn’t necessarily mean that you are emotionally unstable, or that you need someone to be there talking with you 24/7. Needing comfort is needing peace. Needing peace through your financial problems, your marriage, school, friendships, student missionary year, graduation, everything. We all face problems that stress us out, but we all have a place of Comfort. He is our place of comfort. Comfort from our friends and family may last a few moments or so, but comfort from God supplies strength for a lifetime. At the root of God’s comfort is the idea of nearness. He wants to draw us near to comfort us. God may not give us comfort if it keeps us from doing what He wants us to do, not what we want. Which creates a lot of stress for us, because us being human, we see it our way. Our problems our solution..But, rather than using God to solve your problems, try using your problems to get closer to your God.  

God Bless. 28 more days here in Ebeye.

The blog with the funny stories, a slice of life,and ...pictures :)

I’m alive,well, and writing one of my last few blogs.  And seeing my blog track record, it may possibly be my second to last. I have 33 days left here in Ebeye. It has definitely been a refiners fire for me, and will continue to be.  Each day brings it’s blessings and it’s challenges, and I’m certain that each challenge I have faced and am facing is a blessing in disguise, they just aren’t the easiest sometimes, but that’s why they are called challenges, I guess. I have learned a lot about myself, about my imperfections, and about God’s grace. 

This past week was the week coming back from Spring break and that was just tough. No one would listen, they would be standing on their desks and then I’d give them “the look”, so they’d sit down and then a moment later they would forget and be up on their desk again… no one did their homework, nor their class work. One of my girls was sitting on a table outside the classroom and just started throwing up. She was sobbing and when I tried to help her move to go to the balcony, she wouldn’t budge and instead threw up all over my arms, and just curled over drooling. I felt so bad for her, and at the same time I wanted to throw up myself, but I am the teacher now, and they look up to me. I have to be strong. For some reason, she decided that she must go into the classroom, and if you’ve just thrown up on me, there’s really no way I’m going to jump in front of you one more time. I tried to grab her arm, but it was too late, she had already started throwing up on the desks, then when she got tired she sat down and threw up on the floor. Kids from all different grades came into my room, and were just surrounding her, staring like she was rubelle and telling me, “Miss. Em, Jayana’s *insert puke sound.” Yes, I know, thanks kiddos. I went around looking for something to clean all of it up with, but the resources here are pretty limited. So I used toilet paper and hand sanitizer, everyone watched, and enjoyed it. (I was just interrupted by Karissa informing me that there was a mouse in my package in our room, and while typing this we just saw another in our stove. That rude mouse in our room ate my tropical starburst jellybeans that my parents sent me….a ton of them! Fat.  Mice are everywhere, which leads me to my next subject…mice. Haha)

Mice are invading Karissa and my room. It’s difficult to sleep sometimes because they are so loud, playing all over our dressers and leaving little poops for us to look at in the morning. “Thanks guys….” I actually like catching them so it is not that bad, but Karissa hates them. We also have geckos in our room! They are pretty sweet. I get super excited each time one comes near me, but last time I touched one it’s tail projected off and bled all over me and it’s tail fell in my hand. It wasn’t what I had hoped it would be like. I felt really bad, but apparently they do that, when they are protecting themselves from their enemies (oops, I just ate one of the jelly beans…oh well) They are probably one of my favorite things here in Ebeye. Last but not least we have in our room on occasion are cockroaches. As summer is coming nearer so are the roaches. There seems to be an abundance of them lately. Sometimes we will open up our door in the morning and a cockroach will just run in, as if it’s been waiting there to see us all night. “No way, Jose”. There’s really no good place to sleep. Karissa is on the floor where the mice run around and I’m on the top bunk, where the roaches and bugs are. It will be nice when I get back to not have little bugs crawling on me all the time, like small fleas or lice. I’m excited, and very thankful that I have that option, when those here do not.

I wonder what it’s going to be like to wear pants, or shorts outside. The other day one of the Marshallese ladies who helps assist/translate with the kids, saw one of the sm girls wearing a dress that was a little above her knees, and told me on how bad that was. I self consciously pulled my skirt down, and just listened. We wear skirts for everything…everything. It’s so normal now. Am I not going to wear one every day this summer? Once a week? Modesty here is such a big deal, but when they’re drunk all that goes out the window. Or when they’re breastfeeding and just sitting in the middle of the alley with all their neighbors, family, chickens, pigs, just hanging out. The other day I stopped to talk to one of our Marshallese neighbors and she spent at least 30 minutes telling me about her childbirth for her first son and how painful it was, and how they believe in doing it the all natural way. It was very, educational. 

Whoa, before we get off the subject of “little creatures” I feel it is only necessary to tell this story. During one of our last few nights of Spring break I got up to head off to bed. Then I decided to ask Karissa if she would like to check my head for ticks or lice. Lately, there has been many many large and small ticks out and there are little bugs constantly crawling on us. I knew that I would be clean, but I just wanted the comfort of knowing that there weren’t any animals in my head making a nesting area. So I sat down and almost immediately after Karissa pulled my hair back, we found a small bug. Lonnie, Karissa and I decided that it was an ant. They’re all over, it probably just crawled onto my head. We kept searching and continued to find more and more “ants”, hey guess what….not ants. Lice. Yes, the day had come and I finally had my own set of head lice. I thought back to camp this summer when one of the girls counselors cabins, had a girl who came with head lice, and how much I had freaked out, and now here I am, sitting on the floor of the kitchen, laughing at the irony of it all, and that I actually had head lice. I sat on a pillow while Karissa searched me head for them. Not to gross you out, but also to gross you out because it really doesn’t bother me, but I had a lot of them. We made a game out of it. Lonnie was sewing a stuffed monster, while Karissa would hunt them down, grab them, hand them to me, I would look at it, kill it and then place it on toilet paper, in order of size. We had quite the collection. It was one of the most memorable nights I’ve had here in Ebeye. It was super fun. Now, it doesn’t seem like a big deal at all. I’m not saying that I’m going to head back to America with a head filled with them all jubilant and happy, but at camp this summer, I will definitely be more willing and empathetic to help out with those cabins who may have a lice scare. It’s not the end of the world. Not at all. They died the very next day. I slept with tea tree oil in my hair, went in the ocean the next day(salt), and then used lice shampoo, and after showering and using a special comb, not one trace of them (Oh my word, large mouse!!!!Anyways…).

This last week and continuing on for the next two weeks, we have been having evangelistic series. I’m speaking for one tomorrow (your today if you’re reading this when I post it), and I am pretty nervous. My topic is The Sabbath. I am comfortable being upfront singing, playing guitar, and even talking, but preaching scares me very much. It is mandatory for all the high schoolers to attend so there’s going to be a crowd, a not so enthusiastic one. Please pray for everyone speaking. I have been very anxious for this to pass, but I also acknowledge that I need this to make me more rounded, and willing, and I truly believe Sabbath is what ties us to the Lord as His chosen people. It’s a very important topic, and I pray that it’s God they hear and see and not me. May he increase and I decrease. I’m very glad that the Holy Spirit is the same now as it was back then.

It is so hot here and as summers drawing nearer it’s getting even hotter. My arm hair is bleached, and could not get any lighter than it is. I do not feel particularly healthy, every time I want to work out I get sick, so I can’t, and the only thing to eat is junk food. I’m looking forward to running each morning on the boardwalk around camp, and man, I have never missed soccer so much. I miss soccer to the point where I will kick anything that rolls towards me. Not kids though, my self control is pretty good. I am very much looking forward to going back to the U.S. and playing. I think I have made a decision that I do want to play next year at Andrews, I wasn’t planning on it before I left, but now, I realize it’s just something that’s a part of my life. Summer in that aspect can’t come soon enough. 

The other morning I got up early and went for a walk around the island with “puppy” our island pup. We made our way over to beach park and a man came up to us before we got a chance to sit down. He was very hard to understand but, what I did get out of it, was that he was willing to cut puppy’s tail off for free to make her tougher. Great deal, huh? He had his knife there and everything. What a good guy.

My students are getting very lazy in class. You know how that goes when summer is coming, and you can’t focus on anything else. I have to push them so so much to do their class work. “Missah, my pencil is not sharpened” (they’ll stop me in the middle of teaching and come up to me and yell this, which it’s already hard enough to get their attention). “Well, you should go sharpen it then, right?” “Missah!” “What? Lol I’m teaching, you know how to sharpen your pencil.” They leave bitterly…”Missah”. I have to laugh at their whines. They are hilarious. The other day I decided that I would be a fun teacher during writing and we would just draw a picture of our families. So I drew a picture of mine, and showed them. “Alright guys, look up here. We’re going to draw pictures of our family;our mama,baba, brothers and sisters. So use colors! This is my family.” I proceeded to tell them about my family, and then I let them get to their work. Turns out that over half the class drew my family and claimed it to be theirs! Yeah okay….white skin and all… “Bed, this is very interesting. You have blonde hair in here, and your dad has green eyes….” Long drawn out-“Missah….” Hahaha. I’d look at another one, “Sara, Dina, Linta, Hojn (supposed to be John)” Interesting, very interesting. So half the class drew my family if they were part Marshallese, and the other half were lazy and drew their families all green and all blue. “Junior, I didn’t know your mom was green. That’s pretty cool. Why aren’t you green?” “missah” *big smile* then grabs his paper defensively and changes her to blue. Some drew pictures of basketballs and their family was little sticks standing on top. The way they draw hair is so funny. It looks like someone put a 2 by 4 on their head because every girl they draw has pig tails sticking out at 180 degree angle. 

I have really connected with my students, but like I mentioned before there is a certain student who always follows me around. His name is Barnabas. Every single day since I’ve been here, he hides in the classroom after class and follows me everywhere. Within the last few months 2 more have started to follow regularly. Junior and Riki. We have formed a little team where they just sit by me and are super interested in everything I do. We hang out laugh, talk. They are always, always there. Barnabas came to me a few days ago, “You, me, Riki and Junior, are best friends.” “We sure are..” The funny thing is, is that Barnabas is such a handful in class. So so very stubborn, doesn’t listen to anyone and he can be very obnoxious. He’s one that likes to mimic. I often wonder, why he got so attached to me? Why me? The other day during recess, I was standing in the school ground and the 3 musketeers were near me. To what extent would they go to, to be by me? So randomly, I ran out of the gate,  and down the street next to the school,to see if they would follow me, and immediately they picked up the pace and ran behind. “Missah!!!Miss Em! Miss Em!Where you going?” I turned around and looked at their panicked faces. Juniors mouth was open and his eyes were squinted, Barnabas was so confused and nervous and Riki’s mouth was shut and his eyes were bulging out. I just about fell over laughing. I went back to them and just gave them a giant hug. Upset Junior looked me straight in the eye and pushed me away, “Missah”. “I was just kidding! Juniora” I just laughed and laughed, then I smiled at him. He hesitated for a few moments, so I kept smiling, “Juniora”, He came running to my hip and wouldn’t let go. Those boys are going to make great men one day, and I’m going to see to it.

Sometimes I wonder, is what I’m doing really making a difference in their life. They are so young. I sing songs with them, tell them about Jesus, teach them about kindness, pray with them, encourage them and remind them they are loved, like every Christian teacher should do, but all of that seems to go out the window and immediately they are punching,hitting, and swearing at each other. And even worse than that, mentioning their “mama’s”. Last Sabbath in Sabbath school, we discussed how there are those who plant seeds for the harvest and those who reap them later. It hit me. I am planting seeds right now. I am not meant to reap the harvest, I was not brought here to do that. That is someone else's job, later on in the future. But each job is equally important. Without the seed planter, there wouldn’t be a harvest to reap. I don’t know the path they will choose, but I do know that what I say and do now, is very important in their decision.

Walking around always makes me laugh. There are so many naked little kids, at such an old age, just running around like it’s a perfectly normal thing to do. This afternoon I was walking home from lunch and looked up and down the block I saw a boy in his underwear walking towards me. He was jumping over the cracks in the sidewalk, and clearly wasn’t paying any attention. He was a ways away so I decided I would just keep looking down and we would walk past each other. Before we knew it, we were face to face. I look up to see my student, J.J., who hasn’t been attending school for the past week and a half, in his Spiderman underwear just playfully jumping over the cracks. I gave him a confused look, and a laugh. Caught off guard(as if he wasn’t prepared to run into his teacher, right next to the school on an island that’s a mile long) he looks up with the most guilty look. “Hey, J.J, How’re you doing? haha Are you going to school today?” JJ smiles the biggest smile, with his 8 silver teeth, and just continues jumping over the cracks in his little red underwear, with no reply, he skips right past me. Hahah. Sweet. You never really know here. 

I have been learning a bit more of Marshallese as the time passes. The words hot and gum are so similar! “Puil,” and “puil”…yeah, exactly. So the other day walking down the street, I was talking to this woman in Marhsallese. “Hi, how are you doing today?” “Good, how are you? “I’m good,” She seemed pretty impressed with my white Marshallese, so I decided to kick it up a notch…I used my hands and fanned my face as I said, ”It’s very gum out here.” Not realizing what I said I continued to smile and then I saw her expression change into a confusion, then she understood….she gave me a little sympathetic smile and nod before leaving and then went back into her home. “It’s really gum out here?”What? What did I just say? Haha. Careful when you come to Ebeye folks, it’s pretty “gum” out here. Signing out for now. Will write soon.

God bless.

1 Peter 4:12-13

"I cure cancer", sick again, Spring break!

We are officially on Spring break. What is there to do on a one mile island that is crowded with people? Not much. Aware of this, us SM’s made a to do list before the break started, so we have been motivated to get all those done. We have had a pie eating contest, game nights, mid night snorkeling (not a good idea, will explain soon), “beach” day, and half sleepover night….to which I was extremely sick at again.

I’m starting to get restless here, I want to move around, and maybe me being sick is a factor. I love Ebeye, and the people, but it’s so small. One mile long, half a mile wide. 5 months here, and it takes 7 minutes to walk to one side of the island to the other, any normal person would be anxious… There’s not much to do here….at all. I’m reading my friends blogs and am envious of the grass they talk about and the different adventures they are going on, in the deserts, jungles, African fields….they have their struggles as do I here, and I empathize with them. I have it pretty well here, not complaining about that, but I am envious of their space.. But I know that one day I will have many other missionary experiences to add to my list, and for right now I will focus on all the positive things about ebeye. And my kids are the positive things here. I heard a quote this year. “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.” Ebeye is not lovely or glamorous….but God brought me here and has been teaching and using me. I will continue to water it and it will continue to get even greener. Hypothetically, since there’s no grass or plants….but, Praise the Lord anyway. I will pray about my restlessness. We do try to go to the U.S. military base nearby, but they will not let us through without contact from an insider and paperwork and they have to sponsor/babysit us the whole time, it’s a lot of work. Why they will not let Americans into the U.S. military base? Well, we are Ebeye residents and they don’t know if we are terrorists….missionary/teacher/terrorists. It’s such a different world over there. But whenever I come back from Kwadj (all 3 times), I am always happy to be home. It’s nice there, but Ebeye is just…home to me. A crowded stinky home.

Karissa, Lonnie and I can’t help but laugh at the failed pick up attempts we get daily. We don’t ride a high horse, because we know they are just all desperate and we’re foreigners. They are so ridiculous, that I need to share the tackiness..... “Likitu (pretty), how do I get to know you?” What? “Can I call you?” “What are we going to talk about?” *Blank stare….Honestly, what are they thinking? What would we even talk about? I don’t speak Marshallese and you probably only know the one English line…. “We would have beautiful babies, I like you a lot” Do I know you? The other day I was walking down the alley and a boy was urinating in the middle of the alley (no big deal) and when he saw I was American he walked after me, still urinating but not wanting to miss his opportunity, “I would like to get to know you. How’s life?”You’re gross….. I once had an experience that the other sm’s love to bring up where this one man took my hand, gave it a little rub and tried to turn on his way ancient “boyish charm” and asked me my name and got super excited because his name happened to have the same letters in it. Coincidence, I think not…. “Emily? ( *huge smile) My name is Elimy! Emily and Elimy, Emily and Elimy.” He continued to hold my hand, only bringing it up to his heart now, telling me how he wanted to talk to me about “stuff”. I told him I was in a hurry and had to leave, but he explained how he made us lunch plans the next day at his house and he was looking forward to meeting me the next day. Just me and him..Creeped out I told him I had to go. The other sm’s got a kick out of that. I try to be as polite as I can, but I’m not naïve or stupid, I know how to remain safe… My favorite story is Karissa’s. A man went up to Karissa telling her he really likes her (they just met). He then proceeded to take his big crusty finger and rubbing his knuckle on her face he invited her to the island nearby, saying she could take his truck. “You know why?” he asked. “Because I like you” he reminded her over and over. She reminded him of the “boyfriend” she had back at home and he left after doing a super “sexy” pose against the post nearby. Never to be seen again.

Yesterday Karissa and I decided to seize the day and make the most of our spring break. We went to the beach while Daniel, Lonnie and Lance were relaxing and or sleeping around the apt. When we arrived there, we cautiously took off our long Amish skirts and revealed shorts underneath and quickly went into the water. It felt so nice and cool. Ebeye is so hot all the time, and it seems as if it’s only getting hotter, so any opportunity we have to swim is awesome. Swimming peacefully however is even more rare, especially today. So while Karissa and I were swimming we couldn’t help but ignore the loud screeches and shouts coming from the people nearby us. It was a giant Marshallese couple and they were just going at it. They were fighting and hitting each other, and were clearly drunk.  One moment they’d be angrily wrestling and the next they’d be climbing on top of each other kissing and thrashing around. Turns out they were actually having sex, right then and there. They were creating quite a commotion that a crowd was now forming. Grossed out Karissa and I got out of the water and sat on the beach, while kids were crowding around them staring. It was really frustrating to be a foreigner at that moment, because if we were in America I would have definitely attempted to let them know that they were in public and that what they were doing in front of impressionable kids, was disgusting and that they need to go somewhere else, but since I am a foreigner, I couldn’t do that, especially being a woman. I should probably be more careful when it comes to talking to drunk people as well, since you never know what they’re going to do next. Anyway, so Karissa and I left the shore and walked past them to go sit on the shade in the rocks, beginning a new interesting story. This day was just too much.

While we were sitting there a man came up to us and introduced himself.

“Call me doctor. I found a cure for cancer.” He unzips his backpack and pulls out a plastic water bottle with the paper torn off and shows us this salmon colored liquid inside of it. “This here liquid has cured 20,000 people.” Karissa and I exchanged sneaky this guy is wack glances. He goes on to tell us that he is not just smart, but brilliant and that this can cure any form of cancer in just 48 hrs. “How did you come up with it?” “I was on one of the outer islands with my friends and they all thought I went out to the bathroom, little did they know I was coming up with a cure for cancer. They would ask me, “”What are you doing over there?”” I would tell them, “”Umm nothing, making sugar cane!”” I can’t tell you the exact ingredients, and if I were going to tell someone, I was offerered 3 billion dollars from a Chinese scientist. But you see money doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t..” He went on to tell a ridiculously confusing story about crossing the shark invaded ocean with a suitcase full of money, and in the end the person with and without the suitcase, they both die. “I tell them, yes, I am brilliant but I am no better than you. I invite them to eat with me because though I am royalty, He (points up) he’s the real king…I own a lot of land and am very well known, but I’m not a king, though people think I am. I am constantly curing people and that’s why they think I’m so selfless. I devote my time to cure others.  Hospitals, they kill people, I, I cure people. Take your choice. Kill or cure….” By this time 45 minutes have, I was dying for him to get real. Karissa thought it was super funny and kept asking questions. He then pulled out his water bottle and told us to put out our hands so we could try it. I told him that I was a little scared, and tried to show him how hesitant I was. He saw it, didn’t care. He poured the liquid into our hands and told us to drink. I smelled it first, and asked if there was alcohol in it. He offensively said, “No, not at all, no alcohol, just a ton of vitamins and fruit juice.” Yeah, okay….it reeked of alcohol. I ever so swiftly or so I thought (haha) lifted my hands to pretend to drink, so I wouldn’t offend him, and I let the liquid run down my arms and onto my skirt and the ground. “Fruity”. He was happy and content. I looked over at Karissa hoping she didn’t try it, but it was too late. She drank it…After a few more minutes of talking he got up and told us he’d be back, we took this to our advantage and politely said goodbye and left. “I don’t even know where to start” I said. We couldn’t believe that there was someone in this world who thought that highly of himself….what just happened?

A little bit later I was not feeling very good. I was super nauseated and my stomach was upset. I tried to ignore it and it was night time by now and we had a fun night ahead of us. Lonnie had laid out glow stick bracelets for us and we were going to go night snorkeling. We got to the ocean and it was so eerie at night. Almost immediately we saw a manta ray under water. Its eyes were super freaky and it kept swimming at us. Luckily we had brought flashlights and put them in many zip lock plastic bags so we could see everything around us. Worse yet, everything around us could see us. When we got back we were informed that what we had just done was very dangerous. The sharks come to the shallow water at night, and the ocean comes alive. The fact that we were wearing glow sticks, which at first we thought was a clever idea, since then we could see if anyone of us got lost or eaten,  turned into a bad idea. It gave the sharks evidence to wear we were. We were told never to do that again…I decided I was never going to even before I had gotten into the water that night. It was freaky.

So by this time I really wasn’t feeling good. I took a shower and immediately went into the fetal position. I wished I would just throw up. Be careful what you wish for…I got my wish. While we were watching sixteen candles and preparing for our overnight sleepover I quickly ran to the bathroom and threw up. On and off I stayed in the bathroom the entire night throwing up. Ten different rounds and about 4-6 times each round. I was up from 9:30 p.m.-4:00 a.m. just going at it. All in all it was about 50 times….It was so painful and I was getting so weak and shaky. Never have I ever thrown up this much. I weighed myself this morning and since last night I have lost 4 lbs. but not healthily or any way I’d want to, it’s all my insides. It started with contents, and then it turned into any little thing I had in my body. I couldn’t drink any water, yet I was so dehydrated….I did not sleep at all last night. I went into Lonnie’s room, and she came out and talked to me and was trying to figure out why I have been sick so often. It was really nice to have company besides the trashcan. All the sm’s have been really sweet about it. I gave Lonnie and Daniel money and they went and got me ginger ale from one of the nearby stores. I have been drinking that a lot today…..Whenever I’m sick (physically) it always makes me miss my parents. I’m almost 20 and I still miss my parents whenever I get sick. My dad used to wake up when he would hear me throwing up and sit with me in the bathroom, then he would put on his coat and go out and try to find me ginger ale and ice cream. My mom would be a mother and just play with my hair and hold it back as I puked..and you don’t have that here in Ebeye. Makes me thankful for my blessings.

 Tomorrow I am going to the hospital to get my blood and stool tested. Our friend who works in the laboratory, finds it peculiar, that the other sm’s and I are doing the same things, eat the same things, but I continually get sick. They have hypothesized it being a bacterial virus or parasites. I don’t mind whatever it is, as long as it will go away. I don’t feel as if it is the water, since I have been here 3 months, and this past month have I only started to get sick. I’m anxious to go tomorrow, but not too anxious to eat, it makes me really nervous now. 

We still have a lot more to do on our “to do list” so I will post again soon. Until then, God Bless!

3 months mark, Spring concert, letters from Andrews and swing dancing.

It is a Sunday night and Lonnie, Karissa and I just cracked a coconut open and ate it as a snack before bed. Earlier this evening us Andrews students, received envelopes from the university which contained a whole bunch of thoughtful letters from our friends from school. I was just sitting in my little chair beaming. Thank you so much everyone for the letters, the movie clips, and just for thinking and praying for me. It means a lot, truly. Oh, it was just so nice, I feel overly blessed to the point where I just want to burst sometimes….thank you thank you thank you J After reading the letters, we all (Blake, Daniel, Lonnie, Lance, Karissa and I..all the sm’s here right now) played skip Bo then telephone Pictionary with the principal. It was a very good close to the weekend since I have been sick the majority of the weekend.

I’ve been sick quite a few times here, more than a lot of the sm’s. My immune system has never been too great, so I was actually expecting worse. People say that in the islands people generally gain a lot of weight, but maybe since I’ve been sick so often it’s balanced it out for me, so I’m about the same if not under now. Being sick away from home is never fun,( especially when your trapped in a tiny tiny little room the size of a closet with no air conditioning) neither is getting your wisdom teeth out, but you know, I’m healthy, and I’ve learned from each experience, so it’s alright.  I’m doing mighty fine here.

 All the sm’s here are super excited because Spring break is coming up this Wednesday! Tomorrow is Spring concert, so basically only two days of teaching this week. My second graders are sing, “His banner over me is love” and I am so excited for them. I’m playing my guitar while they sing and do hand motions that I taught them. Getting them under control to learn this song was a little difficult, but the 8 girls in class of course behaved like ladies, while the 18 boys ran around the classroom chasing each other with pieces of wood (who knows..haha) and dancing on their desks. They sound like a handful, and yes they are, but they are such blessings. I can’t describe how much patience and understanding God is teaching me here. It feels unreal. I have been here for almost 3 months now…in a 3^rd world country, as a teacher…My major is not even teaching. How did I learn to love these kids so much? How did I even get here? God knew..(Just caught a lizard that was on the ceiling…I’m getting pretty good at catching things; specifically mice) Whenever I’m around them, I feel like a proud mother, the proudest. You know how every parent feels that their child is the best….yeah, that’s how I feel about my students. They look to me as their mother, and I care for them like my children, so basically they are my children here….some of the best children here, yeah they have their faults, but don’t we all?… Man, am I going to ache for them when I leave….Okay, back to the concert. Each grade is putting on a song and we’re performing it for the parents. Which usually consists of a small portion of the parents, because sadly not many parents are very concerned about their childrens education or school performances. I’m really excited about tomorrow and look forward to smiling at them super big. Haha. I can just imagine the look they’re going to give me. Everyday in class I like to goof around with them. So when I’m writing on the board, for some reason even before I’m finished writing they “need” to see what I’m writing, so they tell me to move, “Missah move.” So then to teach them patience, and to just have fun with them, I wave my arms infront of the board swaying back and forth flailing and laughing at how I’m counteracting what they demanded. They all yell “Missah!” super disgruntled. Haha

Which reminds me about smiley faces on their papers. So after they finish their assignment I go around and check them, or they bring it to my desk and I grade it and give them a smiley. I learned that they like their smiley’s plain. No mustaches, no buck teeth, no beards, glasses, nothing. Haha. But you see, I like to spice up the average smiley. So I started doing that on their papers, and you should hear the groans and complains they give to me. “Missah……” which I quickly follow with “Misterah….” Then we just laugh and I go back to the board. But they really hate those smileys. What they do love is dancing.

I twirl them around at recess and swing dance with them and they love it and just follow me everywhere, even the boys. Kids from different classes join in and I lose all my free time to spend in the teachers lounge because I have piles and piles of little kids all over my arms and legs. That may be why I get sick so frequently… I’ve recently discovered a great technique to get them off. I’ve been learning a bit of Marshallese, as you may have guessed. So I’ll say, “Lah leh!” (Look!) and point and they fall for it, every time, no matter how many times in a row I’ll say it. It’s great. But I try not to do it too much because with all the stray dogs roaming around, they attack those that are running. I’ve had to push quite a few off the kids, big dogs, but for the most part the dogs near the school are protective over us since they know us well. But occasionally you’ll get some crazies. Dogs are everywhere. Big dogs too. I have not seen any small ones yet. They’re all beat up and look like zombies just standing in the streets. A lot of them are nice and then you get a few that will most likely get shot by the police. They do that here. When they don’t see a collar on a dog and they don’t like it, it will be shot. My favorite dog, Mangie, who has been with me since the day I got here, is supposedly on the hunt to be shot. She just had puppies and is such a sweet dog, but kids always joke around with her and hit her with wood, or poles and so she gets scared and now anyone (mostly men) walking around with something in their hand she will growl and bark at. The police think she’s mean, so she’s on their hit list…The other day a giant big brown dog looked me in the eyes the other day when I walked past it alone, and before I knew it, it was right behind me growling and snapping at my leg, but as I had mentioned I have made many big dog friends here near the school and that dog was chased clear to the other side of the island. I also am less afraid of dogs since I’ve been here, so I will just kick them when they come at me.

The dogs aren’t the worst part about walking around the island though. In fact I love them. Standing out is probably the worst.  Some of the comments, the remarks, the stares, being mocked in front of my face, getting hit on..the “woot woots!” whistles, whispers, cold shoulders, stares…whenever they do that, I really just wish they would get to know me. I’m not much different than you. Yes I am one out of the 4 blonde people on this entire island of 15,000 people, but my intentions are good. I am a person. I hear you whistling you’ve been doing it for the past 5 minutes, I have ears as well….It’s just quite different. But I understand, I am different here than everyone else. I look different, talk different, So I am going to be misjudged. Jesus was misjudged. I am not worthy enough to compare myself to him, but He says that the struggles we face in this world, He felt all of them and never have I had a time where I needed that reminder so much than here. We don’t talk to others about this, especially the people here, but all of the sm’s we understand, and know how each other feels, because, same situation. I feel the need to end on a good note, because Ebeye is a good place with good hearted people. I understand their misjudgment, everyone does it, being in a different perspective now when I’m the minority, it’s new to me..and those are only some of the people. The other half is very friendly, and always says “Yokwe” and “goodnight” and will make conversation with us while we’re at the store. Kids come out of all nooks and crannies and run at us and will just jump up and down and try to look at us and hold our hands. I’ve been told by many many kids that my eyes are “Jaguar eyes”. They ask me if all I can see is yellow. It’s pretty funny, and it is a legit question for them. I walk around the island and I hear “Miss Em! Miss Emily” at least 20 times around the island, minimum. Half of those teens and kids, I have no idea who they are, things travel so fast here…time travels fast here.

I have been here for almost 3 months now…crazy. I have 2 months left. I’m going to make the best of it, and shine whatever light I can to them in the darkness that they may be in.

One thing I feel is necessary to mention before I sign out is just how much we underestimate how much our teachers in academy, or elementary or school in general cared for us, and how much work they do. I look at my teachers in Academy and am amazed….they loved me so much, still do. They still write to me! Even here in Ebeye.. I didn’t see it as clearly before, but now I see. I think about the future of all the kids at this school, their safety , their happiness, the problems they’re having at home, all before I go to bed …..I wish I could take their burdens upon myself and leave them weight free. Thankfully, we have a Savior that has done that for the both of us, and He loves all of us, even more than we could love each other. It brings me comfort that their future and my future rests in His arms. My mission is to show them the way to His arms, and that is what I will do. Show them the way to their Savior.

Prayers for our little Marshallese brother Jikko. He was hit by a car the other day and broke his collar bone and is all torn up. He got released from the Hospital today, but he's still in a lot pf pain and is a little bundle of energy, so he is struggling with the fact he can't play with the others kids...Thanks everyone. Take care, avoid cars, and God bless!